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October 3, 2023 5:03 am

Signs Not Displayed, Not Heeded Or Not Observed

Times without number, distressing stories are heard of marriage cracks and even breakages due to behavioral pattern one of the couple feels is not healthy for their relationship any longer. When this happens, the Godly injunction of ”What God has joined together, let no man put asunder is thrown overboard regrettably that one wonders why the troubles of going into it the first time.


A Happy Couple

Marriage institution is divine and a worthy cause. But it becomes dishonorable when two adults take things for granted, make mistakes and ridicule it. You then hear things like “Marriage is not a must after all there is nothing special in it.” To think that some of these people toiled day and night for upward of three to four years to nurture such relationships in a preparatory class called Dating or courtship, one wonders what was learnt during the course equivalent to a university degree.

Have you heard of excuses like they aren’t compatible? After years of courtship and acceptance of that dreaded but exciting question “Will you marry me”

There is this case of a couple who broke their marriage because of office hours and home coming. Both of them are professional have risen the ranks in their different corporate establishments. The guy an IT professional working in that department in his organization works very late. While courting, when the lady closes, she will go to her man’s office and wait for him so they can go together. Of course, this continued for a year or two before they finally agreed to make the vows. Unfortunately, just after then, the lady started complaining about his working hours and demanded that it changes or else…. The gentleman pleaded that nothing had changed from the time they were dating. It was just his work routine. She would not listen. Hell was let loose and at the end, there was separation.

Another case has to do with someone who was dating a man who would throw caution to the wind and debase manhood by lifting his hand over a woman. I am sure some people may not agree with me in my qualification of a man that hits at a woman. My view is that a man is no longer a man if he is a woman beater no matter the provocation. Anyways, this lady had this ‘love’ thing going that whenever she is beaten, the ‘sweetness’ of the love covers her eyes and she takes it as nothing. Even when she comes to her senses, a five minutes pleading with erase the pain. This continued. Even when a friend told her that it might not be easy in such a relationship, she ended up marrying the man. But the marriage did not last as the violence took a little notch upwards and our lady could not sustain the tempo.

Our third couple in this piece is one that loved going out while they were courting – the partying type you would call it. Both of them were socialites in the real sense of it. The guy himself is a celebrity as well. They must have one event or party to attend every other week. The guy himself is always in the midst of ladies sometimes going the extra mile if you know what I mean. By the time they got married, she called her man to stop his association with the female folk and cut down on the social outings. The gentleman opined that the ladies warm up to him because of his celebrity status and there is no way he will shun then because that will be rude. Likewise he could not turn down social invitations. It was a drama in the household that tore it apart.

Unfortunately, there was an exact incident like the above sometime last year. But this time, it was the opposite. The lady was a celebrity while the guy was a shy homeboy but seemed to have pulled off the wedding because of his pocket and the fact that he is a hunk of a guy.

In the examples above, the first instance strikes me as a case of non observance. Or how do you explain the fact that she noticed the late night only after they got married. In the second case, it is surely not heeding to signs. She saw and experienced the violence but still put her head in because of love. So also is the third and fourth.

So how do we classify signs not displayed? An example is a couple who knew and followed the abstinence rule while courting. The guy is every inch a man and the lady was like ‘wow, I’ve got a real man here’. Unfortunately, it was not so after marriage because the ‘man’ in him she though she saw refused to come out and the centre could not hold.

Methinks there are a lot of complications in marriage but can still be handled to a good effect. Signs displayed must be heeded, observed and precaution taken. There is no point putting a burden on ourselves and hope to God for miracles. For those not displayed, counseling should be sought to give a better insight on how to resolve if it can.

Next time two singles come face to face, please there is need to open eyes wide at the beginning and make an honorable decision than entering a painful separation.


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